Fight Like a Girl

A friend called last night and we discussed a fight she was having with her boyfriend.  From what I know about him, he’s an upstanding man and a “guy’s guy”.  Long story short, she mistakenly assumed that he was ignoring her when his phone was turned off (as he works in a classified environment that requires all phones to be turned off during work hours).  As I pointed out, ignoring someone is passive aggressive and, so far, this guy’s “fighting style” has never been catty or passive aggressive.  Also, people’s fighting styles are pretty consistent. Unless you’re dating and/or marrying someone of the same sex, the verdict is:

Lesson # 16:  Say No to Catty Men

Why?  Because one woman in the house is enough (again, unless you’re with someone of the same sex).  “Men” who are catty or passive aggressive are not really men.  Rather, they are boys in men’s bodies.  As a woman, you want (and need) someone who compliments you and is of generous heart (cattiness and pettiness are the opposite of being generous).  So, again, ladies–actions (or behaviors, in this case) do speak louder than words.  Keep your eyes open and observe and you shall receive your answer (as to whether he is worthy of your giving him the best years of your life).

Junk in the Trunk

I’m not going to make this a “lesson” or “rule” but one thing I’ve observed through both experience and watching friends is that men who are medium to chubby to larger build tend to make better husbands.  Why?  They tend to be less judgmental and more accommodating.

Men who are very physically fit (especially those who are obsessed with looking the part and “gym rats”) tend to be more critical simply based on the fact they hold themselves to a higher standard of conventional-fit-appearance (being slim does not necessarily equal to being healthy but that’s another topic).  And, in turn, expect the same if not more from their partners.  Something to think about.

 

New Year, New Paradigm

The New Year is upon us and many (including myself) have several resolutions to implement starting tomorrow.  With that said, I wanted to remind you that nothing in life worthwhile comes easy (as the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.”).  I find that the most difficult thing to implement isn’t so much as specific tasks but our attitudes.  Changing the mind is perhaps the most difficult thing one can do for himself.  And, with respect to dating and relationships, I challenge all of you to change your paradigm on interpersonal relationships.  Take inventory of all of your relationships (the meaningful ones as well as the not so meaningful ones) and clean house (as well as your mind, outlook, and attitude).  Take two of these and call me in the morning.  Here’s to a happy and healthy new year!

Secret to Happiness

Studies show that the secret of happiness is 48% genetics, 40% life events, and 12% choices.  Of the 12% (from choices), the things that make the most impact are family, faith, community, and work.  What does this mean for you in terms of finding Mr. (or Mrs. ) Right?  If you’re “naturally” an unhappy person, your choices (which may lead to your major life events) can make all the difference in terms of your happiness.  Food for thought.

Calendar Girl

There will always be exceptions and extenuating circumstances (high school or college sweethearts, family friends, etc.).  But generally, there is a one-year courtship.  Period.  If you are dating a man (and all goes well) and he does not propose in one year, throw him back in the pond.  No ifs, ands, or buts.  As mentioned in an earlier post, men know very early on whether you are “short-term only” or “long-term potential”.  My male friends have confirmed that no, most men do not require more than a year to determine whether or not they want to marry you.

What do the Taj Mahal, Mirabell Palace, and Chandor Gardens all have in common?  They were built in the name of love.  Men are capable of extraordinary feats for women they love.  It is said that a man can move mountains for the love of his life.  Therefore, it is not unreasonable for a woman to expect a proposal within one year.