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A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the category “Lesson # 9: Don’t Be the Cheshire Cat”

Don’t Be the Cheshire Cat

A colleague and I recently had a discussion about sales strategies and he shared with me his 3-step program–preparation, execution, and disposition.  During our conversation, I couldn’t help but think, “This strategy could also apply to interpersonal relationships.”  So, here goes–business strategies translated into dating/relationship guidelines:

Lesson # 9:  Don’t Be the Cheshire Cat (Know Where You’re Going)

In the story of Alice in Wonderland, Alice comes to a fork in the road, looks up, and sees the Cheshire Cat smiling down on her.  The cat asks her where she would like to go.  “I don’t know,” says Alice.  The cat replies, “Then either road will take you there.”  The morale of the story is that you must know where you are going in life–you must know what you want in order to achieve your goals.  In other words, start with the end in mind.

When I was (much) younger, my attitude toward dating was, “I’ll give anyone a fair chance.  I’ll dive into the relationship with good intentions and everything will be just fine.”  What I didn’t know at the time was that not only was I supposed to be extra picky (in terms of selecting only marriageble men to date) but also that good intentions and hope, although wonderful and necessary in any and all relationships, were not enough to to get me to Happily Ever After.  Only when I fine-tuned my dating methods and guidelines did I then get on the right track.

Knowing what you want is a critical step toward finding Mr. Right, as well as achieving other goals in your life.  This process does not come easy and takes quite a bit of time.  To know what one wants is to also know oneself.  Part of the fun in dating is the exploration of various possibilities and scenarios while learning about yourself–all at the same time.


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