What's Love Got to Do With It?

A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the tag “Change”

Fight Like a Girl

A friend called last night and we discussed a fight she was having with her boyfriend.  From what I know about him, he’s an upstanding man and a “guy’s guy”.  Long story short, she mistakenly assumed that he was ignoring her when his phone was turned off (as he works in a classified environment that requires all phones to be turned off during work hours).  As I pointed out, ignoring someone is passive aggressive and, so far, this guy’s “fighting style” has never been catty or passive aggressive.  Also, people’s fighting styles are pretty consistent. Unless you’re dating and/or marrying someone of the same sex, the verdict is:

Lesson # 16:  Say No to Catty Men

Why?  Because one woman in the house is enough (again, unless you’re with someone of the same sex).  “Men” who are catty or passive aggressive are not really men.  Rather, they are boys in men’s bodies.  As a woman, you want (and need) someone who compliments you and is of generous heart (cattiness and pettiness are the opposite of being generous).  So, again, ladies–actions (or behaviors, in this case) do speak louder than words.  Keep your eyes open and observe and you shall receive your answer (as to whether he is worthy of your giving him the best years of your life).

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Junk in the Trunk

I’m not going to make this a “lesson” or “rule” but one thing I’ve observed through both experience and watching friends is that men who are medium to chubby to larger build tend to make better husbands.  Why?  They tend to be less judgmental and more accommodating.

Men who are very physically fit (especially those who are obsessed with looking the part and “gym rats”) tend to be more critical simply based on the fact they hold themselves to a higher standard of conventional-fit-appearance (being slim does not necessarily equal to being healthy but that’s another topic).  And, in turn, expect the same if not more from their partners.  Something to think about.

 

3 Step Program

I had lunch with a friend over the weekend and she said something that I hear again and again from women:  “I just don’t have the time to date.  By the time I get off work, I am so exhausted that all I want to do is stay home.  The last thing I want to do is go on an ‘interview'”.  I must say that when I was single, I felt the same way.   That is, until I decided to change the way I went about dating.  The solution?

Lesson # 7:  3 Step Program

In addition to (1)  Changing your paradigm (per the topics of this blog), make it a point to do the following every week:

(2)  One date

(3)  One group activity

That’s it, folks.  Easy peasy.  Okay–so it might not be so easy (in the beginning, anyway).  But as I’ve told my sister, if you can make time to go to the gym, yoga studio, mall (etc.), you can make time to go on one date a week.  Rain or shine.

Ideas for group activities include speed dating, networking events (although dating colleagues is highly discouraged), running clubs, charity events, cooking classes, church or temple, etc.  The key is to be involved in activities that you enjoyConvergence (doing something you enjoy while accomplishing a goal).  This way, if you meet someone, great.  If you don’t, you’ll have enjoyed yourself, anyway.

Lather, rinse, and repeat!

Who’s That Girl?

I love the art and science of matchmaking.  After years of being in “relationships limbo”, I decided to inform myself by learning from insights of relationship experts such as Sherry Argov, Sherrie Schneider, and Ellen Fein.  These gurus confirmed what I knew deep in my mind and heart all along. With the help of friends and my new found (or deeply buried within me) knowledge, I implemented customized guidelines and found my very own Mr. Right. The goal of this site is to review, confirm, and encourage a paradigm shift in women and men who are seeking love in all the wrong places. Buckle up, ladies and gents, because what you’re about to learn (or review) and implement is going to change your life.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

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