What's Love Got to Do With It?

A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the category “Lesson # 7: 3 Step Program”

Puppy Love

This guideline, of course, is optional but highly recommended.  If you don’t already have one and are (physically, financially, and pyschologically) able to, get yourself a dog.  Why?  Dogs force you to get out and about.  It’s that simple.  In addition, they encourage you to be less self-centered.  Plus, they’re fantastic listeners and feet warmers.  Not only do they provide people with quality company, dogs encourage people to live healthy lives.  Studies show that dog-owners tend to live longer than those who don’t have pets.  Not a bad deal, right?

If it weren’t for Morty (my 5-year-old Shih-Tzu), I would have never met my Mr. Right.  Because of Morty, I met my friend, Kim (who was also walking her dogs at the time).  She and her husband then set me and Mr. Right up and the rest is history  :).

Although a diamond is nice, I think a dog is a girl’s true best friend.


Beauty is Skin Deep

When it comes to relationships, (external and physical) beauty is skin deep.  Period.  The fact of the matter is looks do not matter when it comes to marriage and infidelity.  That is the truth.  Physical appearances go out the window when a man decides to marry you or cheat on you.

Commonly, a man dates several women at the same time during the early stages.  The woman he marries is rarely the most physically attractive of the bunch.  This is because men, too, go through an “evaluation process” when deciding on who they are going to spend the rest of their lives with.  A family friend once said, “Men have simple tastes but complex needs.”  Physical appearances fall into the “simple tastes” category.

As for infidelity, do you ever notice that if a man cheats on his wife, he usually cheats “down”?  In other words, nine times out of ten, the appearance of the mistress falls short to that of the wife.  The JFKs of the world are rare finds.  Generally, men who cheat do so with women who are convenient to them.  Bill Clinton, Prince Charles, and Tiger Woods are just a few examples.

Here’s the moral of story.  Women need to stop obsessing over their looks and appearances and have more confidence in their own beings.  Your persona and personality are what seal the deal.  Also, the fact remains that there is someone for everyone.  We all have “types” and not all of us find the same qualities appealing.  That’s what makes life so beautiful.

3 Step Program

I had lunch with a friend over the weekend and she said something that I hear again and again from women:  “I just don’t have the time to date.  By the time I get off work, I am so exhausted that all I want to do is stay home.  The last thing I want to do is go on an ‘interview'”.  I must say that when I was single, I felt the same way.   That is, until I decided to change the way I went about dating.  The solution?

Lesson # 7:  3 Step Program

In addition to (1)  Changing your paradigm (per the topics of this blog), make it a point to do the following every week:

(2)  One date

(3)  One group activity

That’s it, folks.  Easy peasy.  Okay–so it might not be so easy (in the beginning, anyway).  But as I’ve told my sister, if you can make time to go to the gym, yoga studio, mall (etc.), you can make time to go on one date a week.  Rain or shine.

Ideas for group activities include speed dating, networking events (although dating colleagues is highly discouraged), running clubs, charity events, cooking classes, church or temple, etc.  The key is to be involved in activities that you enjoyConvergence (doing something you enjoy while accomplishing a goal).  This way, if you meet someone, great.  If you don’t, you’ll have enjoyed yourself, anyway.

Lather, rinse, and repeat!

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