What's Love Got to Do With It?

A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the tag “Perspective”

Junk in the Trunk

I’m not going to make this a “lesson” or “rule” but one thing I’ve observed through both experience and watching friends is that men who are medium to chubby to larger build tend to make better husbands.  Why?  They tend to be less judgmental and more accommodating.

Men who are very physically fit (especially those who are obsessed with looking the part and “gym rats”) tend to be more critical simply based on the fact they hold themselves to a higher standard of conventional-fit-appearance (being slim does not necessarily equal to being healthy but that’s another topic).  And, in turn, expect the same if not more from their partners.  Something to think about.

 

Be Happy

Before you build a successful relationship, you must be happy with yourself.  Although this site serves to be a guide for those seeking committed and meaningful relationships, it also encourages people to put things into perspective.  Yes, it would be ideal for you to find the love of your life and live happily ever after.  But keep in mind, also, that it is always better to be alone than with the wrong person.  Simply put, if the worst thing that ever happens to you is your ending up single and having only to take care of yourself, that’s a pretty good deal.

Lesson # 8:  Be Happy With and By Yourself

I say this because it is imperative for every one to be happy being by (and doing things by) herself/himself before she/he can be truly happy with another person.  Being open to true love is one thing.  Being desperate is another.  You are not desperate.  You are not seeking someone to complete you.  Rather, you are seeking someone who compliments you.

Now that we have that established, get out there and do some fishing!

Less Attitude, More Gratitude

I had a phone conversation with a dear friend last night and she informed me that she has been going through several bouts of depression.  This is a woman who is smart, pretty, tenacious, funny, and worldly (among other things).  Men as well as women adore her.  She easily makes lifelong friends wherever she goes.  I have always admired her personality and energy.  And, yet, this fabulous woman feels despair.

I bring this up because from time to time, we all need to put things into perspective (if not for others, then for ourselves).  The holiday of Passover is at the end of this month.  For those who are not familiar with the Jewish holiday, it is one that celebrates the deliverance of Jews from Egypt.  For me, Passover is symbolic of freedom and liberation not only for Jews but also for all people from injustice, poverty, disease, and other forms of despair.  It is also a time to be thankful for all that you have and know that no matter how low things seem to be in your life, there is someone who has it worse than you.  You don’t have to be Jewish to appreciate that.

Passover (and any time, really) is a wonderful time to give back to the community and help out those who are less fortunate.  The mentioned friend has so much to be thankful for and she, like so many others, needs to re-evaluate the meaning of life and know that she, at the very least, is fortunate enough to have a roof over her head, food on the table, and income from a stable job (not to mention all the other creature comforts available to her).

Only then (when you realize and appreciate how fortunate you are) can you have a shot at true happiness.  That, along with finding someone with whom to share your life, which is the whole point of this blog!

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