What's Love Got to Do With It?

A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the tag “Love”

Basic Instinct

If it feels like work in the beginning, cut your losses and move on.  In other words,

Lesson # 18:  Trust Your Instincts

People rarely change and you must remember that it’s a package deal.  Either love who you’re with or be with someone else.  You’ll be happier in the end–I promise.

Fight Like a Girl

A friend called last night and we discussed a fight she was having with her boyfriend.  From what I know about him, he’s an upstanding man and a “guy’s guy”.  Long story short, she mistakenly assumed that he was ignoring her when his phone was turned off (as he works in a classified environment that requires all phones to be turned off during work hours).  As I pointed out, ignoring someone is passive aggressive and, so far, this guy’s “fighting style” has never been catty or passive aggressive.  Also, people’s fighting styles are pretty consistent. Unless you’re dating and/or marrying someone of the same sex, the verdict is:

Lesson # 16:  Say No to Catty Men

Why?  Because one woman in the house is enough (again, unless you’re with someone of the same sex).  “Men” who are catty or passive aggressive are not really men.  Rather, they are boys in men’s bodies.  As a woman, you want (and need) someone who compliments you and is of generous heart (cattiness and pettiness are the opposite of being generous).  So, again, ladies–actions (or behaviors, in this case) do speak louder than words.  Keep your eyes open and observe and you shall receive your answer (as to whether he is worthy of your giving him the best years of your life).

Junk in the Trunk

I’m not going to make this a “lesson” or “rule” but one thing I’ve observed through both experience and watching friends is that men who are medium to chubby to larger build tend to make better husbands.  Why?  They tend to be less judgmental and more accommodating.

Men who are very physically fit (especially those who are obsessed with looking the part and “gym rats”) tend to be more critical simply based on the fact they hold themselves to a higher standard of conventional-fit-appearance (being slim does not necessarily equal to being healthy but that’s another topic).  And, in turn, expect the same if not more from their partners.  Something to think about.

 

Marriage First, Then Career

According to Penelope Trunk, women should focus on getting married first and then build a career:  “this means that it may make sense for men to work full-speed ahead on their career in their early twenties, but women cannot afford that.  Women need to make time in their lives to search for a mate in the same systematic, focused way that women have been searching for careers in their early twenties.  And don’t tell yourself you’re waiting until you know yourself better.  Getting to know yourself is a lifelong process, and after age twenty-five, waiting to get married won’t decrease your chance of divorce.  The good news here is that a large body of research shows that you will gain more happiness by being married than by having a good job.”  They key word here is “systematic”.  Remember that.  This brings us to our next guideline:

Lesson # 15:  Marriage Before Career

They say that hindsight is 20/20 and I must agree with her (in a general sense).  Although I doubt that if I had gotten married at age 25, it would have been with my soul mate.  Sometimes, there are exceptions.

New Year, New Paradigm

The New Year is upon us and many (including myself) have several resolutions to implement starting tomorrow.  With that said, I wanted to remind you that nothing in life worthwhile comes easy (as the saying goes, “No pain, no gain.”).  I find that the most difficult thing to implement isn’t so much as specific tasks but our attitudes.  Changing the mind is perhaps the most difficult thing one can do for himself.  And, with respect to dating and relationships, I challenge all of you to change your paradigm on interpersonal relationships.  Take inventory of all of your relationships (the meaningful ones as well as the not so meaningful ones) and clean house (as well as your mind, outlook, and attitude).  Take two of these and call me in the morning.  Here’s to a happy and healthy new year!

Who’s That Girl?

I love the art and science of matchmaking.  After years of being in “relationships limbo”, I decided to inform myself by learning from insights of relationship experts such as Sherry Argov, Sherrie Schneider, and Ellen Fein.  These gurus confirmed what I knew deep in my mind and heart all along. With the help of friends and my new found (or deeply buried within me) knowledge, I implemented customized guidelines and found my very own Mr. Right. The goal of this site is to review, confirm, and encourage a paradigm shift in women and men who are seeking love in all the wrong places. Buckle up, ladies and gents, because what you’re about to learn (or review) and implement is going to change your life.

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” — Dr. Seuss

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