What's Love Got to Do With It?

A Guide to Modern Love

Archive for the category “Lesson # 10: Maintain Your Independence”

Independent Woman

A wise woman once said, “You should never leave your happiness in the hands of others.”  This brings us to our next food for thought.

Lesson # 10:  Maintain Your Independence

I realize that independence means different things for different people.  Whether it’s financial, emotional, and/or social independence, you must maintain some autonomy in at least one of these areas to help ensure your happiness with or without your significant other.

As children, my sister and I watched as a philandering father came and went as he pleased and treated my mother with the utmost disrepect.  At the time, mother was entirely dependent on him on every level.  From that point on, my sister and I made a pact that neither of us would ever be financially dependent on a man.  People don’t plan for accidents, divorces, and neglect (among other life-changing perils).  Maintaining at least some independence is like having insurance–if it turns out that you never need it, fanastic.  But if and when you do, you’ll be glad you got it.

All of my male friends have confirmed this: men love women who have lives of their own.  There’s “we” time and there’s “me” time.  You must have both to sustain a healthy relationship.


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